P.ATH

Cutthroat Island: The Movie That Made Me Decide Movies Should No Longer Be Made

I watched this movie tonight. I cannot review it due to extreme lack of brain cells. Instead, I will repost the main review on imdb:

19 out of 29 people found the following comment useful :-
SUPER-CHARGED PIRATE ACTION ADVENTURE., 2 September 1999
Author: ALAN MOUNT from CARDIFF, WALES

I was pleased to see all the good things other users have had to say about this super-charged pirate action adventure.From the moment we are introduced to the character of Morgan Adams and the roistering score booms out we are set for two hours of rollicking good entertainment and a movie that was inexplicably damned by critics all over the world.I think they disliked the admittedly huge cost of the project rather than the movie itself and maybe Renny Harlin did go over the top in this respect, but when what you are seeing on the screen is as exciting as this who cares.Frank Langella made an excellent villain and his comrades were as black hearted a bunch as ever sailed under the skull and crossbones.Matthew Modine was a bit weak as the second lead although he visibly tried hard.”CUTTHROAT ISLAND” rightfully belongs to Geena Davis as she swashes her buckle with abandon throughout.One thing though,I fail to see how anyone could call Geena Davis a beautiful woman;indeed she is positively ugly here.For a truly beautiful female swordfighter check out Maureen O’Hara in 1952’s “AT SWORD’S POINT” (“SONS OF THE MUSKETEERS” in the U.K.).Ignore nit-picking critics,sail to “CUTTHROAT ISLAND” and join Morgan Adams in her audacious adventures.

My response: Cutthroat Island made me want to cut my own throat.

Article by Maggie Kantor (and ALAN MOUNT)

3 months ago
#cutthroatisland #review #film

The Leprechaun Movie Series and You: Or how I stopped trying to understand movies and became a better person in every way imaginable.

This post was inspired by an amazing post about the Leprechaun series and by how I spent my last summer (hint: I watched a lot of shitty movies).

What follows is a brief description of the six films in the franchise, but I highly recommend grabbing a friend, a bag to vomit in, and all the sequels to watch over the holidays. You will both hate me and love me. If you don’t have time for all six, read what follows for recaps and anecdotes about my experiences with watching each cinematic masterpiece. If you make it to the end of these movies, you are a person of questionable talents and definite stamina. I salute you for your gifts and worry for your sanity.

The Leprechaun

Rian Johnson: "Brick" and "The Brothers Bloom"

Brick The Brothers Bloom

Re: Max Fischer

excaliblog:

I hate to go off on cinema rants (alright, I love it), but I just read this take on Rushmore I am somewhat disappointed. Ok, VERY disappointed. To the author: YOU HAVE MAX FISHER ALL WRONG.

The author of this review calls Max Fisher’s character someone “in a chronic state of adjustment,” someone who “can not keep up with life any more.” WHUUUUH? Pardon me, but can you name one person you have made an acquaintance with in your life who knows MORE what they want to do with their life? Who has MORE direction than Max Fisher? In one of my favorite lines of the film, perhaps THE favorite, perhaps my life mantra, Max Fisher states.

“I guess you’ve just gotta find something you love to do and then do it for the rest of your life. For me, it’s going to Rushmore.”

Has anyone directionless uttered anything like this before? The author of this review seems to view Max Fisher as a failure. If doing what you love even if it’s crazy and irrational is failure, then call me a failure.

I love to write. Writing is my Rushmore. I will write my entire life, even if it means abject poverty, if it means “taking on a post-graduate year,” so to speak. No matter how absurd it may seem to others, much like Max Fisher’s love of Rushmore may seem absurd to us, I will always write.

Max Fisher is a boy who is not “stretched to thin” but rather, he is doing everything he loves regardless of consequence. He is in no way a poster boy for the apathetic or the lost. Max Fisher has grabbed life and shook it til everything came out. He is the inverse of apathy: He is activity, productivity, creativity. Max Fisher is not failing out of Rushmore because he is a failure. He is failing out of Rushmore because his passions for other pursuits are so great.

I’m certainly not the best student UGA has ever seen. A great part of this is because I will spend a morning writing a song, an afternoon writing poetry, much like Max Fisher will write a play about Vietnam instead of his geometry homework. And damnit if the world isn’t a better place because of people like that.

Take the film’s message and run: FIND SOMETHING YOU LOVE TO DO AND DO IT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!

A reply after the break.

3 months ago
#film

Max Fischer and Our Existential Crisis

It’s true that when talking about existentialism and Jason Schwartzman we tend to go straight for I Heart Huckabees. I feel, however, in this time of schooling and freaking about about who we are or why we’re here and what exactly happens after graduation, that we talk about Rushmore. Max Fisher, Schwartzman’s character in the film, is in a chronic state of adjustment and failure.

3 months ago
#film