i cant tell if this is a confident woman or a confused boy.
i think it’s pretty odd that Wes Anderson movies have become so de-facto in our little enclave of our society. dating someone who isn’t into the whole Mumble/Sweater/Feelingscore is like dating someone with a desktop PC, or really bad table manners.
it’s rather sad, because i’ve hung out with “normie” women before and they’re really nice people. they like shitty bands like The Fray and think that “Chuck Klosterman” is something you get from sleeping with guys with leather jackets. they’re nice people, though. i just know that we can never be together. we are too fundamentally different. she says tomatoes, and i say that i liked tomatoes better before “everybody else started liking them”.
the only thing that overlaps normies and scene kids is Trader Joes, bad television, and the underlying reality that “i hate her because she owns a camera and calls herself a photographer” and “she hates me because i own a MacBook and call myself an artist”.
on their side of the bro-coin is the ever popular but ultimately waning sport of “hipster bashing”, something that’s been going on for many years under the alternate name of “Real Life”. sure, you might call yourself a card carrying member of the counter culture, but if you trade out American Apparel for Old Navy, Wes Anderson for James Cameron, Pabst Blue Ribbon for Corona, you’ll understand that we are but the same people divided by a simple philosophy: scene bros embrace poverty, normal bros discard it. scene kids are nostalgic for the unremembered past, put off by the overwhelming sense of the present, and fueled by the mystery of what may happen in the future. normal bros view the present as the most important - and rightfully so. thats sort of it.
now lets see. i forgot to include a joke in the last paragraph. did you hear the one about the hipster pizza? it cuts itself. did you hear the one about the normie pizza? it hates minorities. wakka. no but really, they do.
at least that’s what i hear.
(picture via mel829)
Hm.
Wait really? REALLY? People talk like this? People believe in this?
People say “normies”?
Please tell me the above was satire. If it was, ignore the rant below. It will just seem foolish.
Listen, I rarely drink Corona or PBR because they both kind of suck. I shop at Old Navy because they have plus sizes and American Apparel doesn’t. I own a Chuck Klosterman book, but I haven’t read it. I am capable of liking Wes Anderson movies and Grey’s Anatomy. Because…
I’m a fucking person. Because we’re all people, and we’re not in fucking high school anymore. I’m certainly not a hipster (although I did see the Room ironically, and I own Doc Martens), so does that make me normy? Or perhaps that makes me a greaser? A jock? A nerd? I don’t want to say that I don’t live within the normative boundaries of blah blah blah de blah because that sounds douchey. But seriously, nobody does. Everyone just does what they do, and for some of us that looks a lot like what our friends do and for some of us (like Ed Gein) that means we keep a shoebox full of dead ladies vulvas.
My point is, if you dress up a character from a Wes Anderson movie for halloween, that says to me that you like Wes Anderson movies. THAT’S IT. It doesn’t mean you smoke American Spirits. It doesn’t mean that you liked Zooey Deschanel before she was in Elf. And it certainly doesn’t mean that you know who the fuck Chuck Klosterman is.
We all learn a set of facts and customs for our teeny tiny mini-culture of friends, and it’s pretty easy to learn a new set. Your particular mini-culture is not special or alienating. However, if your mini-culture requires you to drink shitty beer and stop liking bands because lots of people like them, then fuck that. Go have a St. Bernardus and listen to The Shins. They’re good even after Garden State.
This just made Jennifer Teeter my favorite person ever.
#writings #rant
